Inspired thoughts from a journal

This morning I was looking for some addresses that I stashed in one of my journals (and now cannot find), and as I was looking through each journal, I came across one that I hadn't read in quite some time. It was one I had written in during the four months I was in Lima, Peru six years ago. So much can change in six years, and so much has changed. It's amazing to me how simple life was back then. I didn't have a husband or a daughter to keep me here in the States and although my family was sad to see me go, it was very easy for me to pack up and leave my small home-town. Living in Peru was the best experience of my life so far. Sure, getting married and having a baby are life-changing and experiences like nothing else, but nothing tops the feeling of complete contentment when you're doing something you love, as well as fulfilling your calling and purpose in life and serving others. I loved how everything was so simple over there. By simple I mean that I had a goal, and I worked toward it and that's it. That was my life. It wasn't simple in an emotional and sometimes spiritual sense in any way. I was pulled and stretched by the Lord so much that I often would retreat to a secluded spot and fall on my knees and cry to Him. Questions poured out from the depths of my heart. Questions that never would have come to my mind in my small town in America. I witnessed things that are now etched into my memory. Lima became a part of me, and in a weird sense, still is. I still remember the faces of the street kids that we ministered to on a daily basis. I remember the smells of the streets, the smiles of strangers, the love that was poured on me by individuals who had never even been shown love by their own families. But what I remember most was the simplicity and the way time didn't really have a purpose. I was free to explore God's heart at a level that, since then, I haven't really been free to do. Life goes by so fast and there's always something to do, somewhere to go, a demand waiting on the other side. So does this now mean that I have no purpose in life? I believe I was born to be a missionary; to give hope to those who have none; to live in solidarity with the less fortunate. I married a man who is "bound" to his country in every sense of the word. I am bound to him. We have a growing family. I can't pack up and leave like I was so able to do when I was 18 years old. But that doesn't mean I no longer have a purpose. I will always be a missionary, and my purpose never has changed. Now I believe that I am to show my children the heart of God and lead them in the way that He has lit. I want them to grow up knowing what it is to have compassion for mankind and using that compassion to bring others to Christ. No matter where I'm at, or what situation I'm in, I'm a light for the Lord. I have a big responsibility to Him; much bigger than I've ever had before.


"If the message of the cross consisted simply in a series of theologically correct propositions about God, human beings, and salvation, then the obligation to preach the gospel could be fulfilled by means of a series of public announcements over the radio. But the Word must always be made flesh, and dwell among men. And the Way has always best been shown by those who can be accompanied by would-be pilgrims. A missionary is above all a Way-shower, whose life must be imitable by his converts. the missionary is not simply a voice box, but a pilgrim who invites others to join him on the narrow way."
-Johnathan J. Bonk, Missions and Money